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amber808

Lala-san
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When I was younger, I found it quite upsetting when my friends began to share each other's dreams with one another. However, it wasn't just dreams that were shared among us... no it was much more than that. I found it both embarrassing and horrifying when it came to my turn to share. In the event of it all, I would open my mouth to speak, and then suddenly close it, as though i was trying to swallow back my silent scream. To sum it all up, at the age of 8, i unfortunately have never have a proper dream (one of which i could recall) or even a nightmare. I even brought it upon myself to watch scary movies during my weekend instead of completing my mathematics homework. In desperate hopes of conjuring up a nightmare where i would wake up screaming, in a cold sweat, my nerves tingling and my body shivering from the bitter taste of adrenaline.
It's hard to imagine that a child would go to such extremes for such a pointless experience. Oh how naive and selfish I was as a child. How I wish i could take it all back. But now, being as i am... left traumatised, humiliated and a desolated human being (if you wish to even call me such). I want to take it all back and stuff it all back into my Christmas stocking and burn it in the fireplace, watch it being devoured and spontaneously combust as did my lifeline.
~Intro to a horror story I was writing but gave up, as i lack motivation...
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An average looking, formerly successful, intelligent and kind white girl that has possibly had the worst kind of experiences and luck known to the western world.
A girl who has been used personally and professionally.
A girl who would happily erase the last 15 years of her life and her entire existance if only she could without hurting her family.
A girl who has given up on all of her dreams because her enemies seem to always track her down and destroy her by creating elaborate lies for power and financial gain.
A girl who doesn't know what she has done to be on the receiving end of so much hatred.
A girl who you should probably forget you ever knew if you know whats good for you because everyone who tries to help her goes insane, and everyone who hates her ends up in jail or insane, or dead.
A girl who has been stalked and terrorised.
A girl that is tired of this life.
A girl who wants to dissapear into obscurity.
A girl who is happiest alone these days.
A girl who knows and accepts she will never marry, have kids, have a stable job, own a house or travel overseas anymore because of the injustices she has suffered.
A girl who accepts her fate is a life of misery and forgives the ignorants who blame her for their sordid lives, but will never forget.
A girl who sees things others don't and is wise beyond her years, but keeps her mouth shut to avoid conflict.
A girl who's only wish is to die a peaceful painless death.
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